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Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in Pablo's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, January 16th, 2002
3:51 pm
agggggrhhhhh ive been so bored lately
since sunday, i have had basically nothing to occupy my time with, so i just get into this depressed state which sucks :-(

thinking about how bad everything is, how bad i am, ahhhh its not healthy at all
Tuesday, January 8th, 2002
5:36 pm
work
well, i saw the doctor today, and she said that i probly shouldnt train, which is good, coz i can be lazy for a few more days. i would be able to work tommoorw though, so i rang up the boss and asked him, but he said i wouldnt really be needed. ok, its only a casual job, just clenaing up after a special event, but, well, it kinda feels like maybe they dont want me coz i didnt work the last few days, but hey?/ who really cares........ all it means i dont have to get up at 5 in the morning for the rest of the holidays

still, i dunno

it also means i cant do any fitness for another few days. which again, is kinda good, kinda bad

the thing is, is that im usually the really good worker out of the lot of us, and maybe they think im not a good worker now, maybe they thought i soft-cocked it out

ah well

Current Mood: confused
12:03 pm
i feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel bad
well i just rang u katrina, and ended it with her. it took me ages to decide whether i should or not, and i feel soooooo bad now about it.
i think she was kinda shocked that i did end it, but i thinks she understands, and possibly agrees with the reasons that i said, which was pretty much that sometimes its awesome with her, but other times its not really.

the thing is, is that there are so many little things she does that almost annoy me. just small mannerisms and the like, such as little things she says, for example, and the way she dresses.
i dunno, i feel real tight for saying that.

and i'll probly regret ending it, but its probly for the best.

well, i hope shes not in tears now about it. i doubt she would be, but you never know, and my concious was kinda eased when she said she totally understood and may have even felt similiary a while back

well there you go

Current Mood: guilty
Monday, January 7th, 2002
11:20 am
long time, no seeeee
well i havnt written in here for a while

i've been busy making some hard earn dollars, so hard that i have a cold now and sore throat and cant really do much work at the moment.
i also feel really unfit, coz i havnt done my last fitness session. dont u hate when that happens??????? it makes u feel, so disgustingly fat and obese and lazy and sloth-like.

i will write later today

Current Mood: lazy
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2002
7:49 pm
mmm
its gonna end between me and katrina, the next time i see her anyway. if i dont end it 'officially' i know it will drag on and on and on, and will just cause heartbreak for someone, so best to end it now.,................. but speak of the devil, those dots represent her calling me and i didnt end it. im too chicken

this is fucked

i saw clockwork orange for the first time last nite........ loved the movie, although i think the moral ideals burgess tries to translate have their flaws which are demonstrated in the film.

but it makes u think
Tuesday, January 1st, 2002
9:28 am
2002
well, im quite happy really, coz i dont have a hangover, and i probably deserve to have one. i spose i had a good nite. i kissed one or two girls, but nothing else. im frustrated about katrina, who didnt wanna be with me, so i kinda wanted to do that, if u get me. i think its kind of better though, because, well, last week i was thinking that at the moment im young, and i dont really want a relationship i just wanna go out and meet chicks and muck round with them. but last nite (and this mornin i thinkhehehe), i realised that well, i dont really want that, coz its bullshit and its not really that fun anyway.

but it was a good nite. i was with a lot of awesome people

and i think im gonna be sleeping soon


HAPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR
Sunday, December 30th, 2001
10:35 pm
ma-alcahol is baaaaaaaaad i tell u
mm well i still havnt really got the hang of this thing yet. i havnt really talked to anyone on it and i dont have any real 'friends'.... as thom yorke says on his much beloved title track off the bends :-)

well, maybe things arnt as bad as they seem.... i realised today that there are so many high up people in the world who have succombed to alcaholism and rely on it every day. although my parents arnt drunks, they still have at least a bottle of wine a night. dad did his 'budgetting' today and worked out he spent over 2 grand on grog this year.

ah well


ella called me this evening. it really did bring a smile to my face. she is scared of the fire though. shes coming back in a few days, i'll be able to see her then :-)

p.s. im also quite frustrated that my girlfriend doenst wanna spend new years with me... shes using the excuse that shes going to an 'invite only' party. this frustrates me coz im meant to be her boyfriend grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... maybe its coz i dont trust her..... maybe its coz i havnt met many of her friends yet and i want to. well, i dunno, it bothered me

Current Mood: philosophical
12:14 pm
im losing my virignity
this is the first time i've written here.......

something to do i suppose.

i am worried. i am worried that im going to become a sad person when i grow up. sexuality annoys me, but i cant escape from it, and it feels like im digging myself into a pit, just getting deeper and depper and deeper. i've wasted a lot of time these last few days, and i hate that. just doing nothing at home by myself annoys me, but somehow im stuck doing that.

i think my current relationship will end soon. it's gone on for about three weeks now, but she doesnt wanna spend new years eve with me, and i dont really mind if it ends.

i should be so happy.

by the way, i hope ella is alright during all these terrible fires

please let her live
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